Alzheimer’s and a Guide to the Husband
Please do not think of these “tips” as do’s or don’ts. They are meant only for your reflection.
40. Compendium
Men do not like to admit to having vulnerabilities, but we do. Lots of them. And it is how we can overcome those perceived deficiencies that make us the kinds of husbands we want to be.
39. Values
I am most acutely aware of love’s meaning when I reflect on loss. Loving connectedness is the overriding meaning of our otherwise finite existence.
38. Aptitude
Aptitude is like an internal shapeshifter, looking like one thing today and quite another tomorrow. It becomes a valuable part of who we are only after we are forced to rise to an occasion.
37. Culture
If only such a cultural bond would develop in all of us during this time of crisis. A culture of mutual understanding and love.
36. Purpose
Finding one’s purpose in life is dependent on many factors. It is the most important of all decisions we make.
35. Resourcefulness
Resourcefulness does not depend on how well-educated we are. It does not depend on being remarkable in some way.
34. Belonging
What can help me now is much more dynamic. I gain freedom by seeking interesting opportunities and reaching out for them.
33. Mentoring
To my wife and me the practices of living responsibly and paying it forward were intertwined. One practice was not possible without the other. Responsible living was the foundation for serving the other. For mentoring or paying it forward.
32. We
We can choose to be happy. I have chosen to be as happy as possible while serving as a caregiver for a wife with Alzheimer’s. But that happiness is not to be achieved at her expense, shunted away or forgotten while I pursue other diversions.
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Stu Ervay 