Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia seriously impact the lives of caregivers. Much is being written about the problem. A caregiver often suffers as much as the afflicted loved one. Emotionally, psychologically and even physically. Women and men. My goal is to share care giving issues as a husband, and explore unique problems other men face.
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She knew we needed to talk about it. And we did. For hours.
Planning was essential, including getting me, a guy who had needed help all the time, to the point I could be a caregiver myself.
Fear of death is wired into our psyches because, like loneliness, it is a survival mechanism. Being part of the herd protects us from the tiger. Fearing pain and death protects us from doing something to jeopardize our lives or well-being.
It started with periods of denial for both of us, and the eventual crying while we held each other tight. Sobbing our way through the trauma. The loss of a future. The ultimate loss of the magical bond that started over 35 years ago.